Am I not enough?

By: Bonnie Smith

Dear god

Dear gods

Dear deity

Dear anyone who will listen 

Am I not enough for you?

Tell me what’s wrong and  I will fix it

Am I too loud

Too quiet

Too ugly

Too pretty

Too emotional 

Too clam

Too tall

Too short

Too smart

Too dumb

Tell me if I need to change

So that I may adjust 

To this new environment 

This new world

Forever changing

In a swift blissful motion

In the blink of an eye

A new me will appear 

Only if you give me the chance 

Tell me 

Am I too optimistic 

Too pessimistic 

Too opinionated 

Too easy going

Too creative 

Too reserved 

Too tiring

Too masculine 

Too feminine 

Too intimidating 

I only want to make you comfortable 

Only want to be there for you

So tell me,

How am I to be myself 

When I don’t know if I am right for others

Right for you

Right for me

Right for anyone

How am I to be someone true

If I don’t know how to be me

I’ve put myself in box’s

Trying to find words to fit me

Trying to find people like me

Erasing what was not common

Or making it all that i was

Who am I

Am I too much

Am I too human

Am I too me?

Who is the girl in my mirror

Twisted by the opinions of others

Thinking they have escaped them

Only to think about them to the point of insanity 

Defiance is no escape 

for this prison we hold each other in

Gate keepers of each others fears

So tell me 

How do I escape 

When I cannot even start to find the key

When I have lost myself 

Between the blurred lines in the sand

Dictating where I should be

Which part is me

Which part is you?

Dear god

Dear gods

Dear deity

Dear anyone who will listen

Am I too me

Or too you?

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